My children grew up knowing animals. Just like farm kids growing up intimately understanding cattle, combines and baling twine, mine knew how to tame birds, train cats, and help out with the dogs on movie sets. They were raised like animals too. Maybe not quite the same, but by the time I had kids I'd been raising and training animals for a while, I was starting to get a hang of how to relax and let them show me what they needed. Animals had already shown me that the more I worried about results, the worse things got, so with my kids I was in the moment, we enjoyed the process and let go of expectations.

My kids never went to school, we played together pretty much like I still do with my dogs, but with different subjects, and we had just as much of a blast. All of which leads to this part of the road trip.

They're in their 30s now, fully formed adults with serious careers and lives of their own. My son and I, on this leg of the trip, are spending two days with my daughter and her husband. And we and the combined seven dogs, are having every bit as much of a blast as we ever have.

The dogs have managed to find their way into every picture, every moment we share. Part of the glue of who we are.

When my children were young and unschooled so many people warned me that without rules and a firm hand they would struggle later on in the world. That they needed structure, consequences, at the very least a bed time and tests to pass or they would never fit in.

We all make our own families. There are no rules that work for us all. This expectation that my dogs would fit into your lifestyle, or that my children would fail because they don't conform to your expectations is silliness. There are so many different ways of being.

If you're the person who thrives on rules and order, then do that with your dog. Don't let anyone, including me, tell you to do otherwise. Dogs can learn to lie quietly on their mats while you eat or they can sit in your lap while you're snacking. They can walk on a leash without pulling or zig zag you from place to place. It's not what others want that matters, it's what works for you.

This is something that can be frustrating with trainers and training. Occasionally some trainers will impose their own ideas about what ideal behavior is on their clients rather than start by learning what the client wants from their life with their dog.