There is a common cultural belief that the lack of punishment and pain causes children to grow up entitled, out of control, selfish. It's not new, throughout history, any time people thought that the younger generation was acting poorly it was blamed on too much freedom and a not enough 'discipline' which was always meant as not enough hitting. What is incredible is the continued pervasiveness of the belief. You might be reading this wondering whether I forgot I was writing a dog newsletter, or you might have realized the parallels. In recent discussions of dog behavior online, I have seen people comparing the way some people are choosing to bend toward using less punitive methods of teaching dogs to the way some people are doing the same, with the perceived more permissive methods being blamed for all that is wrong with current society. Some recent comments from a discussion of the use of physical corrections in dog training which devolved into a commentary on current child rearing practices:

"Have you ever had children, and if so, did you let them grow up with no boundaries and no consequences for unwanted behavior?"

"this is the world we live in now. no consequences to unwanted/bad behaviour. it isn’t just affecting the next generation. i see it every day in adults as well. the entitlement is beyond out of control at this point. nobody is held accountable for their actions anymore."

In fact, despite all the jokes online about the failings of gentle parenting, research from 2020 showed that 45% of adults felt it is sometimes necessary to discipline a child with a good hard spanking. 87% of adults reported physical punishment at some point in childhood.

If we are experiencing a world full of entitled, spoiled, ill behaved people, it is NOT because of a lack of punishment. Science, pediatricians, and the press might have spent the last 60 years telling us that there is a much better way, but apparently most of us were not listening.

And here is where it ties in to dogs. That we see a lot of ill behaved dogs out in the world is not because people are choosing kinder, gentler ways of teaching skills. On the contrary, the vast majority of people are still pretty rough with their dogs, not because they're bad people, but because it's what they know. The world is still full of weird information about the need to dominate, the need to be tough, the need to punish. And dogs continue to behave badly despite this sort of training for any number of reasons.

I would say that expectation and example, rather than any specific method, will have the largest effect on how a puppy or child develops. A puppy that is raised in an environment in which she is set up to succeed, in which good behavior is prioritized, championed and rewarded, while the undesirable behavior is minimized by, for example, lack of access, will become a dog who has confidence in her ability to be right. She is treated kindly and with respect, and also treated like a young being with no experience. She is guided gently toward understanding how others like to be treated, and when she exhibits likes and dislikes, they are taken into consideration.

Young things do not need to be forced to learn, they thrive on it. The effort is yours, you can either be on the same team as them, working together for a common goal of teaching them how to be in the world, or you can see them as an adversary, as a wildling that needs to be tamed into being a cog in the wheel.

In other news - if it's as hot where you are as where I am, you might want to explore taking one of my online classes. All at your own pace, indoors, in comfort! And if you're interested in private lessons via zoom or email, shoot me a message!

DPU Zoom group chat coming up next week, stay tuned.